Thursday, February 14, 2008

"Today's Pain" brought to you by Doritos!

So I've had an interesting two days. I don't spend much time in cemeteries, but I spend even less time in them eating copious amounts of Doritos.
I came home from California early, to film a "spec" commercial on Tuesday for this huge nationwide contest. It was a funny script about a guy who is mourning the loss of someone he loves, (actually when I write that it doesn't seem all that funny) and his grief is intermittently disrupted by his eating of Doritos (okay now it is).

It's dark comedy I know.

Anyway to accomplish this feat me and the other guy in the commercial had to eat about three bags (full size mind you) of Doritos. At least for the first two and a half bags they were "Cool Ranch" as opposed to the last half bag which was all "Salsa Verde". Usually I'm a big fan of the spicy but not at that particular moment. By the time we were done our mouths were raw, and there were half-eaten Dorito bits strewn about the cemetery(we cleaned almost all of them up out of respect for the departed). It didn't help matters that we were constantly glared at by those who were visiting driving by in their cars. It was perhaps in the top five of my most awkward moments. Anyway, as I stood atop the graves of pioneers and other long lost relatives eating snack foods, I couldn't help but become pensive about life and its' meaning. My mind thought about two things:

1) There's nothing scary about a cemetery (rhyme's unintended, though cute). These people are all happy in heaven, or unhappy in hell(or spirit prison depending on your beliefs). They're not here! It reminded me of a poem.

2) If the above isn't true, and ghosts do exist, I'm going to be haunted by angry corn chip hating spirits for the next 40 years.

I'll post the commercials when they're done. In the meantime I'll be sleeping with a Holy Bible clutched to my chest.

PS. Also, yesterday I was on a commercial shoot in Miller Park in Salt Lake City helping film a nearly naked man who had eaten a house cat. I love the diversity of this business.


vonblake said...

This experience should be how Final Destination 5 starts.

Jeff B said...

Is there a Final Destination 4

Erin said...

I wouldn't worry about the corn chip ghost, I'm pretty sure you keep him at bay with your breath after eating all those doritos! (That commercial sounds hilarious!)

A Spooky Ghost said...

Shouldn't there be only one Final Destination? Like what would number 5 be called?

Movie Guy Voice: "The Final Most Finalest of All Destinations."

"If you thought you were at the end before, think again. Because this is the real final end where the road runs out and there's no more stuff afterwards. Welcome to Final Destination: Finale."

Your sorrow takes the form of Doritos? Mine takes the form of Eggos! Weird. I'm glad you're back in the blogosphere.