Saturday, May 17, 2008

5/17: Transcript From a Horrible Fast Food Restaurant

Jeff pulls up to the drive thru

"Yes, can I get a number 9 with no lettuce or Tomato with cheese?

"Okay, well the number 9 doesn't have tomato on it anyway"


"Yeah, it doesn't"

Jeff looks at the picture of the number 9 on the menu with 2 giant tomatoes on it.

"Oh. Okay. Can I get that without tomato then?"

"Okay, so you want a number 9 with no lettuce?"

"Yes... or tomato. And I want cheese on that?"

"Okay, extra cheese?"

"No just regular cheese"

"Okay, well it already has cheese on it."

Jeff looks at the picture of the number 9 on the menu without cheese on it.

"Alright, then I want that."

Jeff orders a drink, and pulls ahead, and pays for his meal, gets it and leaves. Jeff checks his gage, and drives down to the gas station while eating his fries.

Jeff pulls into the gas station and goes in to pay. Upon his return he starts pumping his gas, and goes to open his sandwich.

The sandwich is covered in lettuce, and there is no cheese on it,(or mayonnaise for that matter). There is however not a tomato on it.

Jeff decides he wants what he ordered and returns to the restaurant. He arrives in the parking lot, finding the one out of five parking spaces that are not handicapped, and goes inside.

"Hey, I just came through the drive-thru and ordered this sandwich without lettuce, and I wanted cheese on it."

The drive-thru attendant seeing that Jeff has returned goes over to the menu to stare at the picture of the number 9. He walks away sheepishly. Jeff refuses to make eye contact with him.

"Hey guys. He wants this sandwich without lettuce, and cheese"

"It doesn't come with cheese"

"No he wants it with cheese"

"Oh okay."

The sandwich sits there for two minutes.

"Hey what's the deal with this one?"

"Oh, he wants that without lettuce and with cheese."


The sandwich sits there.

"Okay so what did he want on this?"

"He wanted no lettuce and cheese"


He finally grabs the sandwich. He hands it to another food preparer.

"What's wrong with it."

"He wants no lettuce and cheese"

"Okay, No lettuce or cheese."

"No, he wants cheese"


The previous preparer hands it to another food preparer.

"No lettuce, add cheese"


A minute goes by.

"What was this one again?"

"No lettuce, add cheese."


He starts to work. He says the next phrase quite audibly.

"What kind of person wants no lettuce and cheese on their sandwich?"

Jeff stares at the worker somewhat befuddled. The worker finishes the sandwich with the previous chicken patty instead of making a new one or reheating the old one.

"Okay. No lettuce. Add cheese."

He hands it to the cashier who hands it to Jeff.

"Okay. No lettuce with cheese."

Jeff says "Thanks."

Jeff exits.

He goes to his car, and opens the sandwich.

There are tomatoes on it...And no mayonnaise.

Jeff opens the window to his car and throws the two giant tomatoes in the parking lot. He drives away and eats his very cold sandwich.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Yeahhh!!! (in German)

So for some awful reason I woke up with this song in my head.
Then it made think of my Lahsa Opsa, Wicket and how I wish he could fly...and speak German.