Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Distractions
I find it interesting that the crack team of security people at the Salt Lake Airport held up the line to search my bag to remove the toothpaste I had accidentally stowed in my bag, and while doing so failed to find the 8 inch box cutter that I had also accidentally put in there. NO JOKE! I had been using it to cut up dry wall, and somehow it ended up in my bag. WHAT? What else is getting through?
Friday, November 02, 2007
Return - An old story I wrote
By Jeff Blake - needs some revision
Originally posted in Jeff's writing blog "Writer's Cramp" @ 2:03 AM on 8/2/05
I’ve seen a real smile before. Maybe four times on her lips, and more importantly in her eyes; but just those four times. She fakes an average smile a dozen times a day, with her teeth barely showing, and her eyes wide open.
Something has always been wrong with her face since we’ve been together. A trace of something shameful, and older, but more fragile than wise. She tries to hold this look back, as if she did something stupid that needs hiding. I’ve seen that look on her face, like she reached for her car keys and pricked her finger on that thumbtack she stupidly put in her pocket an hour earlier. She doesn’t want me to know. That look hits her in the face a thousand times more often than she smiles. That’s not the look she was meant to live with Trent.
I say to him “Rachel knows how to smile, Trent.” His young eyes, still sweaty and nervous, can’t make the connection…
They grew up in the Midwest. Her Mom loved her Dad, but he couldn’t match it. She loved him too much to notice the changes gradually taking place inside her son Trent; prematurely in her daughter Rachel. They were growing too fast. Trent had a curiosity that grows quick inside every boy like chutes of ivy. Somewhere the vines grew poisoned, and twisted in his head.
Rachel was rather plain. She rode horses, and wrote stories. They were simple stories, mostly about horses. One day the stories changed.
She didn’t know why he crept into her room and couldn’t let her sleep at night, or why the bed was not big enough for her and for his hands. She didn’t know why she came to hate herself, and her own small body, or why there were no more horse stories.
She is here with me now, sitting on a couch with her hands on me.
“I love you” she says to me.
I want to love her back, but inside, her mind belongs to someone or some thing else. I want to love her free.
Finally she tells me, and I see what’s been a hold of her. It’s both a torture and release. Now I’m holding. I feel trust and memories of pain. I can’t hold her close enough, yet I’m afraid that I’ll crush her. Her Dad doesn’t know. Mom doesn’t know. After a long while she smiles at me; a real one. I give her only my open eyes. She says she is going to be alright. I know that every time she sees him though, it’s like tearing at a wound. Like we share the same nerves, I share the pain now too, like it happened to me. I can’t let it go.
The months have twisted around inside me. She seems happier but a remnant of that old look still remains. Mom calls, and I hear the look in her voice. She’s telling Rachel what Trent is up to, even though he lives in this same town.
That very night, as I check my watch and drive I think about what I heard earlier on the television. It said we are a “culture obsessed with death.” It couldn’t be truer than now. It’s all I can think about,
I don’t think Trent ever knew that I was there. He didn’t see me coming. Why would he expect it after seven years of hiding? He walks into the parking lot, and it is dark. I rush into him like an errant grocery cart. The thin blade makes quite a dent in his shiny façade. It will look like a robbery. He flails his feet at me.
Kick me. Go on kick me Trent. After some time I’m pressed against him and he stops. I hold him now. Then there are my last words to him before his eyes go.
I say to him “Rachel knows how to smile Trent.” His old eyes still sweaty and nervous don’t make the connection…until the last moment before he’s gone.
Originally posted in Jeff's writing blog "Writer's Cramp" @ 2:03 AM on 8/2/05
I’ve seen a real smile before. Maybe four times on her lips, and more importantly in her eyes; but just those four times. She fakes an average smile a dozen times a day, with her teeth barely showing, and her eyes wide open.
Something has always been wrong with her face since we’ve been together. A trace of something shameful, and older, but more fragile than wise. She tries to hold this look back, as if she did something stupid that needs hiding. I’ve seen that look on her face, like she reached for her car keys and pricked her finger on that thumbtack she stupidly put in her pocket an hour earlier. She doesn’t want me to know. That look hits her in the face a thousand times more often than she smiles. That’s not the look she was meant to live with Trent.
I say to him “Rachel knows how to smile, Trent.” His young eyes, still sweaty and nervous, can’t make the connection…
They grew up in the Midwest. Her Mom loved her Dad, but he couldn’t match it. She loved him too much to notice the changes gradually taking place inside her son Trent; prematurely in her daughter Rachel. They were growing too fast. Trent had a curiosity that grows quick inside every boy like chutes of ivy. Somewhere the vines grew poisoned, and twisted in his head.
Rachel was rather plain. She rode horses, and wrote stories. They were simple stories, mostly about horses. One day the stories changed.
She didn’t know why he crept into her room and couldn’t let her sleep at night, or why the bed was not big enough for her and for his hands. She didn’t know why she came to hate herself, and her own small body, or why there were no more horse stories.
She is here with me now, sitting on a couch with her hands on me.
“I love you” she says to me.
I want to love her back, but inside, her mind belongs to someone or some thing else. I want to love her free.
Finally she tells me, and I see what’s been a hold of her. It’s both a torture and release. Now I’m holding. I feel trust and memories of pain. I can’t hold her close enough, yet I’m afraid that I’ll crush her. Her Dad doesn’t know. Mom doesn’t know. After a long while she smiles at me; a real one. I give her only my open eyes. She says she is going to be alright. I know that every time she sees him though, it’s like tearing at a wound. Like we share the same nerves, I share the pain now too, like it happened to me. I can’t let it go.
The months have twisted around inside me. She seems happier but a remnant of that old look still remains. Mom calls, and I hear the look in her voice. She’s telling Rachel what Trent is up to, even though he lives in this same town.
That very night, as I check my watch and drive I think about what I heard earlier on the television. It said we are a “culture obsessed with death.” It couldn’t be truer than now. It’s all I can think about,
I don’t think Trent ever knew that I was there. He didn’t see me coming. Why would he expect it after seven years of hiding? He walks into the parking lot, and it is dark. I rush into him like an errant grocery cart. The thin blade makes quite a dent in his shiny façade. It will look like a robbery. He flails his feet at me.
Kick me. Go on kick me Trent. After some time I’m pressed against him and he stops. I hold him now. Then there are my last words to him before his eyes go.
I say to him “Rachel knows how to smile Trent.” His old eyes still sweaty and nervous don’t make the connection…until the last moment before he’s gone.
Simplify Man!
So I've decided that I had too many blogs. I had three different movie ones, and other random ones. In the interest of making life easier I put all of my old entries, advice column stuff, movie reviews etc into this blog. All movie reviews in the future will also go to this blog. Also my "serious" writing blog, Writer's Cramp will now be a part of my main blog "Deceptive Small Cars". My totally non-serious advice column once called "A Cry for Help" now known as "Fill in the Blake" and featured monthly in Square Magazine can be found on "TheSquareLife.com" and will also be reprinted here each month. Yay for slightly more simplicity!
Entry #1 - 11-2-07
Hey there! Today is the first day of my Blog experiment. Let's see what I have in a month!
New Blogs of Note
My passion is writing. Also my passion is not saying "my passion" anything, because it's pretentious. But anyway, starting November 2nd, I've challenged myself to make a small entry on each of these 4 blogs for 31 days in a row. Check out the results on each of these blogs below.
Deceptive Small Cars - Jeff's essays on life little foibles.
Jeff's Journal - The place where Jeff writes down what's going in his life
(So you don't have to actually talk to him)
Jeff's Journey in Film - A Vlog and Blog about Jeff's experiences in film and TV production.
Ridges, A Novel Online by Callum Raymond (It's a long story...I mean the name thing).
Deceptive Small Cars - Jeff's essays on life little foibles.
Jeff's Journal - The place where Jeff writes down what's going in his life
(So you don't have to actually talk to him)
Jeff's Journey in Film - A Vlog and Blog about Jeff's experiences in film and TV production.
Ridges, A Novel Online by Callum Raymond (It's a long story...I mean the name thing).
Thursday, November 01, 2007
I'm back...
...with a new resolve to blog some spectacular things. Wow...It's bee A YEAR! I kick against the "blogs" because I often feel they make me sound selfish. I will put all that fear of pretense aside however to make this work. I'm more resolved to not shut myself off from the world. Even if no one reads it, it still makes me happy to know as a good friend put it tonight, that "I'm leaving something for my children to read". Expect a new entry in a few minutes and expect a new look in the near future.
This is for you Matt.
-Jeff
This is for you Matt.
-Jeff
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Improving daily...Daily improving.
I have come to the knowledge that purity can only be achieved through pain. In accordance with this new axiom, I watched Todd Haynes 'Safe' twice in one day.
Eat your heart out Opus Dei (or simply Paul Bettany's portrayal of Silas in DaVinci Code).
Eat your heart out Opus Dei (or simply Paul Bettany's portrayal of Silas in DaVinci Code).
Monday, January 01, 2007
Monday, December 25, 2006
Saturday, December 09, 2006
A CRY FOR HELP...Vol 1.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Originally posted my other blog, A Cry for Help - A weekly advice blog.
"Wants To Be Funny" of Internet Land writes...
"Dear Cry For Help,
If girls like guys that are funny, why do a lot of funny guys I know not get any girls? Should I keep trying to be funny so that girls like me, or is it just not worth the effort? :)"
Dear "Wants To Be Funny",
The following is a response I am obligated by the state of Kentucky and its' governing bodies to submit to you:
"Girls like guys who can be themselves, and are not trying to put on a show for them...So just be yourself."
GREAT! Now that we've gotten that "legal mumbo jumbo" out of the way I'll give you the real answer to your question. Here it is:
Girls like a guy who will do ANYTHING that they can to impress them, and this usually means being funny!
It's simple... Ya gotta want it! Do whatever you can!
Wear a funny mask on a date. Try out impressions or accents that you're not good at in front of them. If these don't have their intended effect, carry a small joke book in your pocket that contains hilarious material. Here are a few examples that have worked wonders for me...
Example 1:
-How does the queen bee get around her hive?
...Give up?
-She's THRONE.
OR
Example 2:
- Why is honey so scarce in Boston?
...Give up?
-Because there's only one "B" in Boston?
If you should find yourself in a major lull in conversation at dinner pull one of these timeless gems out and away you go. You'll soon be knee dip in hugs and kisses...
(Authors note...they shouldn't all be "Bee Jokes". That was just the only joke book I had around me at the time.)
What? That's not working? Well have you thought of buying a funny t-shirt with a clever saying on it like:
"I'm only wearing black till they come up with something darker"
or
"As a matter of fact the world does revolve around me!"
That last one makes me giggle. But think about it. A T-Shirt makes a definite statement about who you are and where you're going! Here are some more examples that are equally good.
Oh here's another good one. Have you seen Napoleon Dynamite? If not ...Buy it...Watch it...MEMORIZE IT!...try and work it into conversation. This shall be your bible. For example if your date says...
-"So what are you doing tomorrow night?"
(respond thusly)
-"What ever the freak I want to do...(now this part is important. Be sure to throw your head to the side in a rapid fashion while squinting your eyes and finish off with a hearty)
"GOSH!"
Let me tell you, I know from past experience that chicks love it when you use someone else's material as your own. Other resources might be Simpson's quotes...explaining your favorite scene from "Family Guy" in detail (especially if they haven't seen it), or even funny songs. Hello, I have just two words for you. WEIRD...AL!
Babes love it!
Still not funny? Well I don't know what to tell you. Try HARDER...ALOT HARDER. This is just stuff that has worked for me! And do I seem lonely? HA!
One more thing. In response to your comment about guys who are funny not getting girls well it's pretty obvious...THEY'RE NOT ATTRACTIVE!
Now go get em tiger!!!
Sincerely
"A Cry For Help"
Submit your questions to Jeff at "", or at his blog on MySpace. Be sure to give yourself a name, like "So Desperate He Would Date a Robot"...or "Lonely in Provo".
Originally posted my other blog, A Cry for Help - A weekly advice blog.
"Wants To Be Funny" of Internet Land writes...
"Dear Cry For Help,
If girls like guys that are funny, why do a lot of funny guys I know not get any girls? Should I keep trying to be funny so that girls like me, or is it just not worth the effort? :)"
Dear "Wants To Be Funny",
The following is a response I am obligated by the state of Kentucky and its' governing bodies to submit to you:
"Girls like guys who can be themselves, and are not trying to put on a show for them...So just be yourself."
GREAT! Now that we've gotten that "legal mumbo jumbo" out of the way I'll give you the real answer to your question. Here it is:
Girls like a guy who will do ANYTHING that they can to impress them, and this usually means being funny!
It's simple... Ya gotta want it! Do whatever you can!
Wear a funny mask on a date. Try out impressions or accents that you're not good at in front of them. If these don't have their intended effect, carry a small joke book in your pocket that contains hilarious material. Here are a few examples that have worked wonders for me...
Example 1:
-How does the queen bee get around her hive?
...Give up?
-She's THRONE.
OR
Example 2:
- Why is honey so scarce in Boston?
...Give up?
-Because there's only one "B" in Boston?
If you should find yourself in a major lull in conversation at dinner pull one of these timeless gems out and away you go. You'll soon be knee dip in hugs and kisses...
(Authors note...they shouldn't all be "Bee Jokes". That was just the only joke book I had around me at the time.)
What? That's not working? Well have you thought of buying a funny t-shirt with a clever saying on it like:
"I'm only wearing black till they come up with something darker"
or
"As a matter of fact the world does revolve around me!"
That last one makes me giggle. But think about it. A T-Shirt makes a definite statement about who you are and where you're going! Here are some more examples that are equally good.
Oh here's another good one. Have you seen Napoleon Dynamite? If not ...Buy it...Watch it...MEMORIZE IT!...try and work it into conversation. This shall be your bible. For example if your date says...
-"So what are you doing tomorrow night?"
(respond thusly)
-"What ever the freak I want to do...(now this part is important. Be sure to throw your head to the side in a rapid fashion while squinting your eyes and finish off with a hearty)
"GOSH!"
Let me tell you, I know from past experience that chicks love it when you use someone else's material as your own. Other resources might be Simpson's quotes...explaining your favorite scene from "Family Guy" in detail (especially if they haven't seen it), or even funny songs. Hello, I have just two words for you. WEIRD...AL!
Babes love it!
Still not funny? Well I don't know what to tell you. Try HARDER...ALOT HARDER. This is just stuff that has worked for me! And do I seem lonely? HA!
One more thing. In response to your comment about guys who are funny not getting girls well it's pretty obvious...THEY'RE NOT ATTRACTIVE!
Now go get em tiger!!!
Sincerely
"A Cry For Help"
Submit your questions to Jeff at "", or at his blog on MySpace. Be sure to give yourself a name, like "So Desperate He Would Date a Robot"...or "Lonely in Provo".
Friday, December 08, 2006
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Movie Review - Monster House
Wow...this movie was kind of disturbing. The writing was really interesting, and the animation was awesome (although I still think the only animated film to get cartoon humans right was "The Incredibles") but wow, it had some pretty adult themes, and the last 20 minutes of the film all I could think about was "did the house really eat and digest those cops and Jason Lee?". Anyway, I find myself loving animated movies more and more these days, and Monster House was a pleasant surprise.
Speaking of Critics...Movie Review - F is for Fake
This one is weird yet intriguing. First off let me say that Orson Welles is probably more in love with himself than a nomal person should be. Then again Orson Welles never was considered a normal person.
So this is a pseudo documentary that tells the story of Elmyr De Hory, and Clifford Irving. De Hory who was the probably the world's greatest art forger, (a concept I'm not sure I completely understand, I mean does he copy existing paintings by famous artists or does he make new ones that LOOK like some famous artist painted them? Yeah...probably the second one...thanks for giving me the time to work/type this out) and Irving who wrote De Hory's biography, and then in later years lied about getting permission from the recluse Howard Hughes to write his biography and publish it (see the upcoming film "The Hoax" starring Richard Gere as Irving...it tells the whole story).
Anyway the plot aside this film despite it's awful 70's audio dubbing and the presence of O.W.'s lame 70's girlfriend is way ahead of it's time in terms of its' non-linear editing and storytelling. The theme I enjoyed most about the film however, is that we put way too much stock in so called "experts". For example in the film they site that of the majority of art experts who examined De Hory's forgeries of artists like Picasso, almost none of them could tell that they were fake.
I think this film makes a brilliant point. What is an expert? What makes a critic right?
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Movie Review - The Proposition
Wow...more on this later. Got to go to bed for at least 8 hours.
It's later now. So this movie was beautiful and yet incredibly violent. Probably a safe bet to say that it's not for everyone. I have a feeling, perhaps a bad feeling that I'm falling more in love with quiet often slow paced films, spotted with moments of violence, embraced by the artistic elite. Gosh I hate critics, especially when I agree with them.
Awful Movie Review - Stay Alive
So this is the first review I did of a movie that was awful which I knew going into it.
-Jeff 11-2-07
First Movie...Stay Alive...Let the pain begin
Lot of interesting actors...in one of the crappiest movies I have ever seen. Why...Why...Why do I do this to myself? I think for some reason known only to Heaven and Idiot Savants that I was slightly intrigued by the plot...WHY??? Why do I have an addiction to STUPID lame genre movies?
On a side-note, I think Sophia Bush is cool as a goth chick.
-Jeff 11-2-07
First Movie...Stay Alive...Let the pain begin
Lot of interesting actors...in one of the crappiest movies I have ever seen. Why...Why...Why do I do this to myself? I think for some reason known only to Heaven and Idiot Savants that I was slightly intrigued by the plot...WHY??? Why do I have an addiction to STUPID lame genre movies?
On a side-note, I think Sophia Bush is cool as a goth chick.
I feel good about tonight...well yesternight
Been out of sorts lately with ComedySportz, but tonight felt good. I invited this girl that I barely know at all and somehow I still performed well. Which is crazy because usually when I invite someone I don't do well or at least I don't feel good about it.
One thing I find sad however is that sometimes when I feel like I have a good show I worry that my performance was at the expense of the other players, and I base the shows on how I did, and not how we did as a team or an ensemble. I just hope that everyone enjoyed it tonight and felt good about it. Players especially. I did. Real thought for the day tonight.
One thing I find sad however is that sometimes when I feel like I have a good show I worry that my performance was at the expense of the other players, and I base the shows on how I did, and not how we did as a team or an ensemble. I just hope that everyone enjoyed it tonight and felt good about it. Players especially. I did. Real thought for the day tonight.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Ouch - 11-18-06
I think I need to start to reexamine my diet when I find myself eating more than one serving of fried cheese in one day.
What happened?
So I've been gone friends. I've been gone for quite a while. Where have I gone? I don't know. I've been working on my movie for a while now. I'm beginning to wonder if it's worth it. All that money, all this time. All I want is the chance to make something better, with a bigger budget, and the kind of crew that I can trust (not that these people I worked with weren't great. I would definitely work with all of them again). Anyway. What a cliche' Sometimes I hate being this introspective.
-Jeff
PS. Sometimes I want to pronounce it "Cove"-n not "Coven" like "Oven".
-Jeff
PS. Sometimes I want to pronounce it "Cove"-n not "Coven" like "Oven".
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